Amateur Insight

Today I realized that I am my own woman. I am me... the me now. Sure, I'm made of the me's of my past, but I can be whomever I want right now.

This oddly came from a random bout of wasting time on Facebook (I know, you never do that, right?). I had been thinking about reviewing my friends list to trim down to those who I actually consider a friend and would want to know about their life and realized that a fair number of my "friends" had (gasp!) de-friended me. What the what?! I mean, seriously, what did I do to them? Weren't we so close back in the day? Didn't they come to my high school graduation? Vacation together? Wedding? So what, we hadn't actually spoken in a few years. Big deal! I still want to hear that you're happy with your new girlfriend/fiancée/dog/job/house/child. Wouldn't you be happy to hear about mine?

Obviously not.

So, like anybody else with insecurity issues, I felt a tad down... as if I wasn't worthy to show up in a measly news feed. I guess you felt so compelled by our lack of friendship to keep your good news from me? Awesome.

Then I got a grip (a few hours later).

Who cares? Who cares about stinking Facebook? We have bigger fish to fry - like world hunger, the national budget, and an energy crisis.

Well, maybe you care, if you're still reading this, that is.

Anyway.

Looking at my "friends" list (yes, I use quotations there for a reason), I realized that I have great friends now. I look at the pictures on my desk and see my husband's cousins from Christmas. I remembered that I have many, MANY family members with whom I need to build a relationship. I have a job with great co-workers, a church family, and a handful of die-hards from grade school and college. There are friends from the places I've lived: Chesapeake, Seattle, Yorktown, Provo, and now Maryland. And these people are now all over the place! I love these dear friends. I also love my family. Who needs a list of over 300 "friends" to tell me that I have people in my life that I love and they love me too? Who needs a list to tell them that yes, they grew up - they had pals, they did stuff, and it was fun for the most part. Who needs a list to define them?

And then I decided. Not me. I do NOT need a list! And suddenly, just like that, the bad feelings of lowliness lifted. I can be whomever I want. I don't have to be who I was 5, 10, or 15 years ago (although 15 years ago I was the ripe old age of 11). I don't have to have a label (although, as unfortunate it as it is, I do believe we are still generally labeled in our life... the artsy one, the family man, the liberal, the religious one, etc.), and even better, I do not have to have a label from my past.

Of course, we all have things we would change... but I'm grateful for my experiences. I'm grateful for the friendships I developed over the years, for the times and seasons in which I REALLY needed them. They truly were my friends. And at this time in my life, I'm grateful for where I'm headed now - a strange feeling of being a little child in adult's world, doing adult things (like wasting time of Facebook worrying about a friend list).

Looking at my life now, I have a wide array of amazing things to focus on... an incredible husband, a large family on both sides, great jobs for the both of us, membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (and the responsibilities that come with it), and many others that would make for an incredibly long post.

These are the things that define me (for now, at least). I am a wife, daughter, sister, cousin, niece, granddaughter, visiting teacher, analyst, and friend to many (both on and offline, for that matter). And I can try really hard to be the best I can in those roles... which is time consuming enough without crazy internet distractions. Most importantly, I know that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me, and I love Him. And I can always be better at showing that love.

Amateur Diagnosis

The weather yesterday and today meant driving with the windows down: Sunny, calm, and warm. The kind of warm that starts on your skin and seeps into your blood, bones, and heart. The kind where you sit in the car when you first get it in without turning it on, just to feel it. Thankfully, I had a pressing errand requiring me to make a quick trip to the post office, so I was fortunate enough to realize just how gorgeous it was. I immediately thought, "I love how I feel, and I want to share it! I should blog about how beautiful it is right now." Which, to be honest, has been somewhat of a novel thought for me over the past couple of months (if you couldn't tell, I wasn't really up for the task this winter). Then I realized it - just like my pal, Heather, wrote in this post, I must have seasonal affective disorder, aka the winter blues. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas and will sing carols with the best of them from Thanksgiving on in, but the cold weather and short days really drag me down. I bundle up, don't go outside, don't exercise, and eat lots of carbs (sounds like fun until your pants become snug, get a tummy ache, and you are on the verge of scurvy).

So with that, once I returned to the office ten minutes later, I immediately nixed plans to take a lunch break indoors with a pal. Instead, I switched to grabbing a quick bite at my desk in order to head out for a little run in the sunshine. Fate definitely had this in store for me: I had appropriate workout clothes in the trunk (not leggings, but shorts! And socks! Which I normally forget), and a towel left in the locker room at work. Hooray! The stars aligned in my favor.

I pumped up my almost-forgotten running mix and hit the road. Needless to say, it was a euphoric 3 miles. Each song on shuffle was just right, and my muscles squealed with joy at such a foreign feeling (no elliptical or walking, no indoor workout DVD; just pure, unadulterated movement soaking in the Vitamin D). I returned with rosy cheeks, crazy hair, and a glow. Perfect.

Then I checked the weather for today - just the same, but warmer! I couldn't be more happy. To be sure, I made plans to bring back my gear for round two, and did just that. This time I had no head phones, but a co-worker. We had the birds chirping, and the sky was so bright and clear that we noticed buildings from afar through the still bare trees.

It felt good to get back the runner's high (and while I know it isn't the runner's high you get when you run a marathon or something, it was adrenaline and blood pumping enough for me). I don't dare to look at next week's weather report, because I know this is a small February miracle and I want to enjoy it as much as I can.

So with that, I knew. I knew I was not a winter girl, but a diagnosable spring one. One ready for sun, blossoming plants, and new adventures.

Amateur Valentine

blahblahblah it's been 3 weeks blahblahblah

Here are some of the most fitting valentines for my most fit valentine:

And I probably will. With a side of chips and salsa, please.

And I promise not to watch the Bachelor when you're around and I will not insist we play The Office first when we pull up Hulu on Friday night. Yep, I love you that much.

Except I'm pretty sure there are times where the MacBook Pro ranks higher than I do...

For Valentine's Day Eve, my sweetheart ended up watching Sleepless in Seattle with me last night (great gift, dear). Let me tell you, this is hands-down the best movie for those in the valentine mood, folks ("We should go.... Shall we?" Be still, my melting heart!). For what it is worth, we also watched Last of the Mohicans yesterday - not too valentine-y, unless you relate it to the St. Valentine's Day massacre. But who doesn't love a great romantic subplot involving Daniel Day Lewis? Works for me.

On another high note, the weather is behaving beautifully, reminding me of valentine days of yore spent in San Diego and Savannah. Those were the days, and here's to many more!


How are you spending your V-day? Bonbons? Sparkling cider? Nonchalant feelings? I'm pretty sure we'll watch Chuck, House, and maybe eat some Mexican food. Yes... we go ALL out, people.

Amateur Professional II

Early December found me in San Francisco for a work conference. This is what we first saw once we got off of the BART from the airport and to the hotel:

 Yep, that is a random old white lady with a middle-aged black guy getting down to some Motown blasting from a portable stereo. Awesome? Yes. Did the cops have to bust it up? Unfortunately. But seriously, we walk up from the BART station, hear some funky jams, and see this. Love it.

Day view from the hotel

 Once we checked in, we headed over to the conference expo, aka try win a free iPad at every booth. To be sure, there was a money grab booth, where I won a $10 gift card to Starbucks. Good times.

Evening view from the room 

The next day was a lot of classes, etc., etc. But that night - we were front and center for a Stevie Wonder concert, follow-up with a dance party deejayed by Will.I.Am. I have some sweet Stevie pics on the point-and-shoot that I can't find right now. But here's some video of the DJ in action:

The next night was not a dance party, but a speech and interview from former President Bill Clinton. This guy's mind runs a mile a minute. It was pretty awesome.

The next morning I picked up the Flip video camera I won (woohoo!) and stayed through the weekend with my dear, old friend and former college roommate and her husband. That's coming next!

Amateur Tourist

So once my conference ended Thursday afternoon, I killed time by shopping around downtown and texting Scott "yes or no?":

The jacket got an over-ride yes from me, although Scott still thinks it looks baby poop brown

Then I enjoyed a sweet reunion with one of my favorite kindred spirits:

One morning we waited a reeeeeally long time for brunch; while it was good,
we probably won't wait that long again. But waiting in line with Britt was a treat in and of itself.

While the non-tourists went to work on Friday, I went for a run to the Golden Gate Bridge and back. Unfortunately, this was all I could see due to the incredible fog all weekend:

But I at least high-fived the hopper's hands for good luck.

On the way back I stopped by this gem, the Palace of Fine Arts:

Shout out to the nice Asian tourists for taking a picture for me.

I also enjoyed some great scenery on the run, which paralleled the water the entire time:

Once I got back, I did what anyone would do: eat a cupcake leftover from the place around the corner we stopped by the night before.

This one was a s'more cupcake, slightly warmed in the microwave. Perfection.

Before the worker bees got home, I did the lame stuff, like stop by Lombardi Street with 438290 other tourists:

I must note that to get to there, I had to truck it up and down this crazy hill. Holy steep, Batman:

Thankfully, I rocked the hill and made it home just before my pal. We detoured our trip to Golden Gate Park (and all the fog made it pointless, anyway) to this random museum with a ton of Rodin:

I promise this is the last photo dump. On Saturday, we went all over: Ghiradelli Square, Fisherman's wharf, Pier 39, Mama's (the brunch place mentioned above), and we finished up with an insane Dicken's fair. We sampled free chocolate, enjoyed the sites, and even stopped to purchase some fresh, warm sourdough bread from Boudin. At this time I'd like to take a break from my travelogue to share an excerpt from a poem my friend wrote describing what followed next while walking along:

Imagine the two of us strolling the pier,

Clueless to what's overhead.

Toasted to perfection, we're enjoying our samples

of Boudin sourdough bread.

 

Then suddenly...flapping, flapping & squawks,

A seagull is right in our face

Our water goes flying as arms go flailing

with squeals all over the place!

 

Then as quick as he came, that beast disappeared,

and Mare was left checking for poo.

Though she was clean, her bread was no more; he had captured it,

Yes, it is true!

 

And so from his perch, that seagull enjoyed

the spoils from going in for the kill.

Onlookers laughed and will always remember

Mary's battle of Boudin - what a thrill!

Yes, folks, it's true. This gigantic, possessed seagull totally attacked me from behind and swiped my bread right out of my hand. It had barely even left my mouth, considering I just took a bite. The scene was nuts, and definitely one for the books.

 

Now for the fair... this place names were the most off-the-wall, in-your-face recreation of Dickens' London. The places were clever, but the people... oh man, THE PEOPLE! They were incredible characters. They sang, danced, caroled through out the entire fair, some of the men got a little handsy, and the child catcher was completely detestable. There even little scene rooms set up just for the actors to portray a dinner party, ball, or scientific discovery. Shops lined the various paths, selling homemade candles, feather-tipped fountain pens, and handmade leather masks. It totally rocked my world.

Needless to say, San Francisco was one of the highlights of my year. I reconnected with a great friend, ate some amazing food, shopped in some great stores, and made unforgettable memories. I'm thinking I don't ever want my friends to move, because I need to make this trip at least once year. Here's what I'm thinking to all of you Double or Nothin' gals... San Fran reunion 2011. What do you say??

Amateur Lumberjack

Living with the in-laws means catching up on all of the family traditions I missed out on not being associated with the family before marriage and living on the East Coast. One of the many include finding the best tree ever to cut down for Christmas. Their favorite tree farm is a bit of a drive, but totally worth it. Check out this all- natural eye candy:

baby trees... one day we'll have one of those!

Racing to find the best one

Found it! Can you see Julie's feet behind me? Yes, she's cutting it down while we pose. Just call us efficient.

Hopefully next year we will have to get one of our own...

The most handsome lumberjack around

Views of the tree farm:

Amateur Belated Birthday

For a late birthday present to myself, I went to see Michael Buble` in DC just after Thanksgiving. To be sure, Scott wouldn't be caught dead at something like this, so thankfully I have some awesome co-workers who swoon along with the best of them. Have you ever seen this guy live? Amazing. He is an incredible showman - the voice, the jokes, the looks, the moves... I could go on, but Scott finds my celebrity crush pretty obnoxious, so I'll stop there. If you want to treat yourself to a night of serenades and dreams of what it must be like to be Luisana Lopilato (along with thousands of other middle-aged women and gay men), then this is your place.