Amateur Journaling

Every Sunday, I lead a discussion on scripture in an adult Sunday School class. We read together, I ask questions, and others respond with their thoughts or perhaps another question in return. Some Sundays we have a full-ish room, others may be a bit sparse; but size doesn't usually matter as long as a few of us come ready and willing.

This particular last Sunday was a little light on attendance. A few of the usuals, a few who dozed in the lull of an afternoon without a child in tow, and a few every-so-oftens. The topic for the day consisted of a few chapters from the Book of Mormon detailing the beginning of Christ's visit to the Americas. To set the scene, many great cities were destroyed "to hide their wickedness and abominations... that the blood of the prophets and the saints should not come up any more..." before the Savior appeared. The previous quote actually repeats about six times in one chapter, so I asked everyone why they thoughts the exact same words occurred so many times, just to say the same thing about various cities?

I must say that just like any good teacher/mother, I'm not supposed to pick favorites. But I'm pretty sure everyone there that day felt the same amazing spirit that I did when we were interrupted by a dear woman translating the lesson/discussion for a man with a hearing impairment (along with other challenges).

"He wants to say... Because history repeats itself. We need to be careful, because history repeats itself."

A tidal wave of emotions hit me. Feelings of humility, gratitude, and awe swept me up and churned my heart in an undercurrent of love. Salty tears filled my eyes and I knew - these are the moments I cannot forget. I must hold on to this lifesaver thrown to me in order to keep swimming until I find the shore.

I wanted to stop and hold those two tightly, and whisper in their ear about their greatness and influence. But I didn't. I agreed, and thanked them and moved on in the lesson.

We continued, and then it happened again. Again. This time we read about, the Savior using one of His many analogies, where He likens Himself to a hen and His people to chickens (3 Nephi 10:4-6):

"4 O ye people of these great cities which have fallen, who are descendants of Jacob, yea, who are of the house of Israel, how oft have I gathered you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and have nourished you.


5 And again, how oft would I have gathered you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, yea, O ye people of the house of Israel, who have fallen; yea, O ye people of the house of Israel, ye that dwell at Jerusalem, as ye that have fallen; yea, how oft would I have gathered you as a hen gathereth her chickens, and ye would not.
6 O ye house of Israel whom I have spared, how oft will I gather you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, if ye will repent and return unto me with full purpose of heart."

These verses sparked the questions as to WHY Christ wants to gather us. A few people spoke again, about how we gather children and love them and want to nurture and protect them. This gave way to another interpreted comment:

"Because we a precious. We are all precious to Him. He wants to gather us because we are precious."

Isn't it so true? ALL of us are precious; everyone from the President of the United States down to the homeless guy on the street corner.

At this point, I felt this strange dynamic of euphoria and being crushed all at the same time. I bursted with joy to have this level of participation from someone who never commented before. I also felt incredibly humbled - who am I to be standing at the front of this room? Who am I to continue on in this life and not recognize the mercy and graciousness that surrounds me daily?

I write this so that I do not forget. I write this so that I might influence others to remember those precious moments where they felt deep, abiding love - a love that builds you up and rips you apart all at the same time. I write this in hopes to always remember.