You might be thinking "wow, good for her!" but really you should be thinking "why the heck is she doing that, a baby doesn't need a valence in the front room or a way to maneuver around a dimly lit concrete floor."
You could also probably add to that "her poor husband."
I recently spoke with a dear friend who told me a story that helps emulate the point of this post. About five days before she gave birth, she arose early in the morning to begin cleaning their outdoor storage unit (come hell or high water, it seems). In the end, it turned out to be quite a frustrating situation. When she related her story to a co-worker the next day, her co-worker commented "well, it is definitely a good thing you cleaned out that storage area, because I'm sure the baby will be sleeping there."
Touche`, you wise and witty co-worker. Normal person's logic: 1. Crazy hormonal pregnant lady logic: 0.
To help you identify the onset of this very real and terrible disease, I provide you some commonly heard phrases associated with what I call CHPS (aka "chops," for crazy hormonal pregnancy syndrome):
"I'm on borrowed time! I don't have a timetable! My life isn't my own! I can't plan anything!"
"We will get nothing done after the baby comes! That means all of the electric sockets, vent covers, and light switch plates must be replaced NOW or it will never happen! NEVER!"
"I don't know how I'll feel after delivery! I don't know who should come to the hospital! Will I feel like celebrating with the whole world or will I want to be alone with my little family? I need a plan! I don't have a plan! I don't know what to tell people!"
"Life will be SO different. I don't think you understand. We have no idea how nothing will be the same. NOTHING."
"Where are your priorities? We have to get this done! This baby could come any minute and we won't be ready! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Basically, symptoms include anything said with exclamation and/or a doomsday approach, an intense focus on items relating to a to-do list or making plans, frantically wiping down/picking up/straightening something while saying some of the above phrases, and a showcase of tears.
Sounds awesome, right? The worst part is that typically the one exhibiting the symptoms knows they are in the midst of a CHPS episode. However, even knowing that you are being a CHPS lady does nothing to repress the manifestation of the disorder. You actually openly accept the diagnosis and continue on, probably uncontrollably, until you find a friend who can sympathize and then you laugh together about how CHPS is nuts but what can you do?
Sister is a slave to her hormonal body, that's what you do.
So while I'm wading through the difficulties of CHPS with Scott, just be glad that you aren't an immediate family member of a CHPS lady. However, if you are in that unfortunate position, I'm pretty sure he will start a support group to escape the clutches of my current CHPS state of being.The support group will probably do something fun like get wings or chinese food, but the front will be a bike ride or run on the B & A trail.
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| 38 weeks and full of the crazy juice |
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8 comments:
I wouldn't expect anything less. Well done! I was going crazy before having Ben because I COULDN'T do any of that stuff. We were up to our ears in boxes getting ready to move! I think my "nesting" is still going on though: finally organizing all the baby boy clothes we received, getting McKenna into a big girl bed so Ben can have the crib, deep cleaning the walls and baseboards quite frequently... Sorry to tell you you're still going to be crazy (at least a little) even after you deliver. :) Love you and you look so great!
Rich and I loved this post. We think you should submit it to a pregnancy magazine and you would make a couple $100.
Man, you have done an amazing job of hiding the CHPS from us! Some woman act crazy towards any poor soul they encounter but you seem to have reserved it for Scott and maybe your family. (I haven't heard from anyone that your hormonal and crazy so I'm just speculating that Scott and said family could be your targets.) You're great!
all of that is completely normal to feel like that. that baby is going to be so blessed to have you guys as parents. you look amazing
It's so great to finally have a name to this disorder I suffered during pregnancy with Spencer, and sometimes still do since he's been born. hmm..this seems to last longer than expected. :) By the way, you are a gorgeous pregnant lady at the end of it all. :) Good luck with the next few weeks, enjoy that new little baby.
Hahaha, Mare you kill me! At least you only got CHPS at the end of your pregnancy and you know it will go away in less than 2 weeks! Then starts HMNS Hormonal Mother-to-a-Newborn Syndrome. This is where you distrust anyone that looks or thinks about your baby. At least you know you will get over that too. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THIS LITTLE GIRL! And I am sending you a package, one day! xoxoxo love you lots!
I agree with both BECCA and LAURA... You will probably not get over it immediately. And, you look fab! Get ready... Itsa comin' :)
"...her poor husband." (Hope Scott survived.
Luhi
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